All on Marriage,

Your marriage ,Your life,Your ministry (1)
In a day and age where every person has become a marriage
counselor even those who don't pray neither can successfully
handle a bible class ,there's a proper need to scripturally
address a pertinent matter emerging in CHRISTIAN marriages
First and foremost ,Marriage is of God,honorable and should
be desired by and for all .
Hebrews 13:4 KJV
[4] Marriage is honourable in all..
Secondly ,it's a choice you make ,even though prayerfully and
you can choose not to make as well prayerfully too
1 Corinthians 7:8-9 KJV
[8] I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for
them if they abide even as I.
9] But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to
marry than to burn.
As a believer you marry whom you will but in christ
1 Corinthians 7:39 KJV
[39] The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband
liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be
married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
That said
Things do go wrong in all human relationships .
Pastor and flock
2 Corinthians 13:2,10 KJV
[2] I told you before, and foretell you, as if I were present, the
second time; and being absent now I write to them which
heretofore have sinned, and to all other, that, if I come again, I
will not spare:
10] Therefore I write these things being absent, lest being
present I should use sharpness, according to the power which
the Lord hath given me to edification, and not to destruction.
Amongst Fellow ministers
Acts 15:39 KJV
[39] And the contention was so sharp between them, that they
departed asunder one from the other: and so Barnabas took
Mark, and sailed unto Cyprus;
Amongst believers generally
1 Corinthians 11:18 KJV
[18] For first of all, when ye come together in the church, I
hear that there be divisions among you; and I partly believe it.
A whole lot of apostolic teaching deals with love,forgiveness
and forbearance amongst Believers,marriage is sure one of
such .
This day and age many a believer aren't taught the love walk
and so resort to television ,social media guidance for most
relationships
Words like " am leaving him or her"," it's over " " I can't
continue "etc are rampant and were mostly gleaned from the
world .
Yet scriptures teach that we be cautious with this world and its
ideas
Romans 12:2 KJV
[2] And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed
by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that
good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
We are to renew our minds and ensure we aren't entrapped
with a world which finds nothing wrong with sex without
marriage and even tags it " baby mama" and consciously
teaches such illicit sex in sitcoms and movies and even its
celebrities .
We are to be circumspect
Ephesians 5:15 KJV
[15] See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as
wise,
It means carefully .
Marriages are built on forgiveness and believing the best of
each other .
Human Loyalty can be shaky ,
Only Gods faithfulness is reliable and enduring ,yet we His
children have the capacity to be trustworthy .
Hence scriptures teach two fundamentals for all marriages
Ephesians 5:22,25 KJV
[22] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto
the Lord.
[25] Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the
church, and gave himself for it;
Love and submit
Both words entail a whole lot
Love ..
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 KJV
[4] Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not;
charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
5] Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not
easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
[6] Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
7] Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things,
endureth all things.
Submit
Ephesians 5:21 KJV
[21] Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
It means in honor and reverence for the Lord
Colossians 3:18 KJV
[18] Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is
fit in the Lord.
Same .
I dare say ,if many of our men paid more attention to bible
studies and understand love isn't just about romance ,a treat
on Cayman Islands ,buying gifts ,great sex etc rather virtues of
character only found in christ ,if they do ,we might save more
marriages .
We might ...
And I dare say too if many women paid more attention to the
Word rather than Africa Magic ,telemundo,Linda Ikejis blog etc
they will understand what honor ,respect mean
They will know respect and honor keeps marriages more than
beauty and sex and worst still " saying your mind "
1 Peter 3:5-6 KJV
[5] For after this manner in the old time the holy women also,
who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection
unto their own husbands:
[6] Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose
daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with
any amazement.
She called him lord ,master not honey pie,sugar belly etc
Nothing wrong in pet names but from the word,he is your head
not just your lover .
Being married to a none believer ( before you received christ
yourself I mean ) isn't an excuse to behave badly and treat him
or her with disrespect
Whilst I fully understand the Pauline teaching on love and
submit in Ephesians and Colossians were strictly for
believers,scriptures also instruct on marriage to none believers
1 Corinthians 7:12-13 KJV
[12] But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a
wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him,
let him not put her away.
[13] And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not,
and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
Don't seek to leave for such reasons
1 Corinthians 7:27 KJV
[27] Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed.
Take note of the words " if he/ she be pleased to dwell " as I
will touch this later as a critical part .
Peter gave another angle to the same scenario
1 Peter 3:1-2 KJV
[1] Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands;
that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word
be won by the conversation of the wives; [2] While they behold
your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
Conduct must be godly and such that glorifies christ even
though he's a non believer .
You mustn't shirk your marital duties for fasting and prayer or
church meetings .
You must be his wife and her husband as the case applies .
So,when storms arise in marriages we must always seek for
peace and reconciliation at all times
Hebrews 12:14 KJV
[14] Follow peace with all men , and holiness, without which no
man shall see the Lord:
We are to avoid strife ,anger ,bitterness ,evil speaking and
malice in our marriages
Romans 12:18 KJV
[18] If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably
with all men.
Do all you can to stay in peace .
Ephesians 4:26,31 KJV
[26] Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon
your wrath: [31] Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and
clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all
malice:
This is needed in ALL relationships including marriage
Strife is a no no
1 Corinthians 3:3 KJV
[3] For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you
envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk
as men?
It's for men who aren't born again .
Nagging ,fault finding etc are works of the flesh
We are dead to the flesh and alive in the spirit
Galatians 5:24-25 KJV
[24] And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the
affections and lusts. [25] If we live in the Spirit, let us also
walk in the Spirit.
Strife i.e contention ,consistent arguing and nagging are
devilish
James 3:15-16 KJV
[15] This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly,
sensual, devilish. [16] For where envying and strife is , there is
confusion and every evil work.
Even though you might be making Worldly sense and getting
social media applause ,Gods word is a rock which outlives
human opinions .
As believers,whether as parties in marriages or third /
interested parties called upon to mediate or give counsel we
MUST pursue peace at all costs!
At all costs!
We must pray to change situations too
Prayer works
James 5:16 KJV
[16]... The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth
much.
If your marriage isn't working well ,pray !
James 5:13 KJV
[13] Is any among you afflicted? let him pray..
Many times we hardly explore these scriptural options before
resorting to the worlds quick fixes
Break up !
We are believers and must act on the word
To find believers having multiple pre marital break ups is
enough distress and bad testimony ,talk less of finding
believers getting married several times in a life time .
We mustn't treat our marriages like Hollywood or Nollywood.
It should be seen to glorify christ .
For example The home and marriage of a Christian minister
should be exemplary..
1 Timothy 3:4-5 KJV
[4] One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in
subjection with all gravity; [5] (For if a man know not how to
rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of
God?)
We must be examples to all believers
1 Timothy 4:12 KJV
[12] Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of
the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in
faith, in purity.
That said
Some exceptions do arise .
And we do have Gods word and wisdom for these instances
I have found out several ministers are either at sea on such
matters or feigning ignorance or just living in denial
First and foremost marriage is not a life and death sentence .
For example,spouses do die and the living spouse can remarry
1 Timothy 5:14 KJV
[14] I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear
children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary
to speak reproachfully.
He refers to young widows .
We shall touch this too later
Divorce is a word in the bible .
Deuteronomy 24:1 KJV
[1] When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it
come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he
hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a
bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out
of his house.
It was even put to Jesus
Matthew 19:7 KJV
[7] They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give
a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
But the term or word is not found after the Four gospels .
It's not our primary way of treating marriages .
But then ,questions have arisen ..on domestic violence ,rape
( yes rape in marriage ), incest ,infidelity ,fraud ,deceit etc
What should be done?
I must firstly submit that cases have their uniqueness and
most times we must take each one in its merit.
I firmly believe marital counseling is beyond phone in
programs or blogs rather a pastors duty .
Hence its safer for couples to seek counsel from where they
receive spiritual oversight
Hebrews 13:17 KJV
[17] Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit
yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must
give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief:
for that is unprofitable for you.
It's safer than reading off some bitter lady or fellow on
Facebook Or Twitter .
I believe many marriages can be rescued ,by Gods power I
have helped out several and even in cases where divorce had
been concluded in the courts .
Gods word and power is the answer
However in some exceptional cases we still have His Word....
( to be continued )
I call you blessed
Jesus is Lord,We win !